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Jeg havde en underholdende brevveksling med Mette Sejrbo der gav dette lille produkt, som hun nu mener burde deles med folk her på stedet. Mette: Så prøv en skriveøvelse: Blackadder kommer ridende og møder en af the knights that say NI. De skal begge krydse den samme bro, men der er kun plads til en af gangen. Den der kan jorde den anden med ægte britisk snobbethed kan gå først. Hvis der er to andre karakter du kender bedre så brug dem selvfølgelig Kun dialog .... game? Fessor: Okay, ikke et mesterværk men her: Blackadder and the knight The Blackadder Family has always been blessed with an inordinate amount of good opportunities but the same cannot be said about their luck. No matter their station in life they have always done their damndest to carve out riches and a suitable position for themselves without regard for risks and dangers - especially of of you can find fools that are willing to take the blame if everything planned carefully turns into cowdung. Alas we find ourselves on this damp night near the forests of Durham in the year 1834. The current Blackadder on a stolen horse after a meeting with an especially dense creditor who wouldn't listen to reason. Blackadders fine jacket bought for 6 pounds of borrowed money has now been modified after the meeting with the creditor and a rather fancy ventilation has been added in the shape of two holes the creditors guns left. "Bloody peasant, has so much money he couldn't use it all to wipe his backside but the minute you try to tell the bastard you haven't got the 400 quid you lent from him he aims for your sodding head." Blackadder gives the horse another kick, urges it to go faster, not keen on meeting highwaymen or other sorts of scum at this time of night. He eyes a bridge ahead, near it a knight sits with a giant sword. "Well isnt that nice, it seems all of Bedlam has been emptied of loonies and nutters for my inconvenience." As the knight, full in battlegear sees the rider in full gallop he stands up and raises the sword. "Sorry, Sire i cannot let ye pass at this hour!." Blackadder unwillingly forces the horse to a halt before it can trample the knight. "Have you lost what little brains you have in the helmet!." "No, Sire. "Well then stop talking nonsense and let me pass!." "I cannot." "Who the devil gave you the task to guard this place in the middle of the woods anyway, there is not a soul for miles, save you and me!." "God spoke to me and handed me this honor so that I may honor Him in all his glory!" "I say you found that honor in a bottle, now drop that cutlery and sleep it off man, let honest folk pass or by God ill have your backside in a sling before you can say antiestablishmentarianism" "Do you challenge me good Sir?. "I challenge your sanity!" Silence from the knight, with no answer Blackadder kicks the horse forward, the knight raises his sword. "Now wait just one bloody minute you loon!" "I cannot let you pass, unless God shows me that your skill in arms exceeds mine and grants you guardianship of this his majestic task. "There may be a candle burning in your window but I sense that all with brains have left the building in a sodding hurry!." "I stand by my task." "Alright then, what would you have me do, I have no arms on my person, am I to kick you to death while you dice and slice with that sword of yours!?” "Let it be a battle of wits then, good Sir" "Then I fear your regiment has yet to show on the field of battle, I neither hear nor see any proof of common sense be it in word, deed or attire!!" "So you would retire from the field of battle and vacate this place to retire to whence you came?." "Not in a million years, I would rather have my bottom spanked with burning cricket bats!” "What a novel idea, good Sir." "Says the loon in plate and helmet waltzing around in the middle of the damn forest with a broadsword five feet long." The knight doesn't seem to care to retort on the matter. "I am not even sure you understand me. You do know that you are utterly non compos mentis right?." Silence from the knight. "Doolally?" "A couple of turnips short of a full load?" "I think not Sire." "Well there we have the problem, Sir Potty for brains, but the learned men say seeing the problem is the first step towards recovery, now point your nose towards Bedlem and let me pass before I mount your backside on my boot just for the fun of it!.” “You offer me violence yet you refuse to take me on in a battle of arms?” “Damn right I am, since you are robbing me of my last nerve, you dimwitted twerp!” Silence from the knight. “I have half a mind to challenge you to a duel by 18 pounder carronades at dawn if i could get me hands on the gear!” “That sounds fair enough, i'll have my brother at the arsenal of the naval yards bring two guns over tomorrow.” “So your brother handles the inventory at the naval yards and forks over any request for guns you may have?.” “Indeed he does, Sire, being my brother and all.” “I dare say he may have a seat in the admiralty before long, and you his brother haunt the woods at night in plate and helmet.” “Yes, Sire, an honor in our family has handed down from father to son for 6 generations.” “You mother must be as proud as a pope with grandchildren.” “Indeed she is, Sire.” Alright, remove your helmet good knight, I wish to see your face if I am to engage in mortal combat with you on this spot, tomorrow. The knight removes his helmet. Blackadder stretches forth his hands. “Let us shake on this duel then.” The knight takes his one ironmail glove off clumsily. “Here let me help you, good man.” Backadder takes the glove and smacks the knight in the face with it. The knight falls to the ground like a sack of potatoes, unconscious. “There you ponce, I formally challenge your sanity!.” Blackadder mounts his horse again and rides off. “Barking mad inbreds roam free at night, I truly fear i'll have to depart to Barbados or some such place before all things well and good in this land go to hell and I lose my mental faculties too!.” Fessor: bedre end ingenting - bemærk jeg kunne ikke lade være med at ævle i starten. | ||||||||||||||
 | Mette Sejrbo | 2014-05-14 17:13:50 |
Tilføjelse: Fessor skrev dette i løbet af en time! Det ER mesterligt og talentfuldt syntes jeg.
Good job dude ;-)
Good job dude ;-)
| Mette Sejrbo | 2014-05-14 18:04:55 |
Overdrivelse fremmer forståelsen som det siges.
Nu du selv bringer Bedlam op så var det en upser jeg lagde mærke til i går. Selvom The Knights that say NI næppe kunne gå for "virkelige" fiktive personer, teoretisk set kunne Black Adder ... næ heller ikke. Men alligevel, kronologien er off. Freak circus måske men historisk ingen mentalhospitaler i middelalderen.
Nu du selv bringer Bedlam op så var det en upser jeg lagde mærke til i går. Selvom The Knights that say NI næppe kunne gå for "virkelige" fiktive personer, teoretisk set kunne Black Adder ... næ heller ikke. Men alligevel, kronologien er off. Freak circus måske men historisk ingen mentalhospitaler i middelalderen.
| Fessor Frederik | 2014-05-14 18:14:54 |
Manden i skoven - ridderen er en der har overtaget hvervet som "Ridder" fra sin far - i 6 generationer, det startede måske som en god gerning dengang - beskyttelse af vejen mod røvere, men nu i 1834 er manden tydeligvis ikke den klogeste. Bethlem Royal Hospital går helt tilbage til 1330 som hospital og da der indtil napoleonstiden ikke var noget klart forskel mellem syge og sindslidende var sindslidende også patienter.
Beskuelsen stoppede før napoleonskrigene (1770) men udtrykket levede videre.
Beskuelsen stoppede før napoleonskrigene (1770) men udtrykket levede videre.
| Mette Sejrbo | 2014-05-14 19:00:39 |
OkeY jeg kan se årstallet MEN hvad laver en ridder med jernhandske, hjelm og kæmpe sværd i skoven? Industrielle revolutions svar på LARping?
| Fessor Frederik | 2014-05-14 19:14:32 |
Tjah se jeg kan ikke rigtigt spørge manden som sådan, men se jeg har den formodning at en af hans forfædre, som muligvis også har været lidt blød i pæren fandt rustning og sværd på en mødding eller en glemt kiste et sted. Uden nogen særlige midler, måske lejlighedsvis tigger stillede han sig op på stedet og med tiden blev ham måske endda accepteret af lokalbefolkningen. Nogen af folkene har måske kendt ham fra tidligere dage, som en fordrukken bums. De lokale har måske diskuteret manden og hans nye stilling som "ridder" og er kommet til den beslutning at han ingen skade gør der, i sidste ende kan han måske endda holde banditter væk. Med tiden er han blevet fast inventar på stedet og folk har velsagtens rakt ham almisser for tjenesten, en tjeneste der siden er gået i arv, om der vitterligt er tale om 6 generationer er svært at sige da den information trods alt kommer fra en person der er lidt svag i hovedet eller gør som om.
Kom forresten i tanke om navnet på den mand i Frankrig der som en af de første talte for en mere human behandling af de sindslidende, at disse ikke skulle ses som straffet af Gud.
Phillippe Pinel
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phillipe_Pinel
Fik først kendskab til ham i William Durants historiske mammutværk der er værd at læse.
Kom forresten i tanke om navnet på den mand i Frankrig der som en af de første talte for en mere human behandling af de sindslidende, at disse ikke skulle ses som straffet af Gud.
Phillippe Pinel
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phillipe_Pinel
Fik først kendskab til ham i William Durants historiske mammutværk der er værd at læse.
| Mette Sejrbo | 2014-05-14 19:39:33 |
Rofl! U seriously crack me up.
| Fessor Frederik | 2014-05-14 19:57:10 |
-The highest praise, since laughter is one of the finest gifts God has granted to us, His creation, in His infinite wisdom. You do spoil me, truly.
-I am Your servant, Mylady
-I am Your servant, Mylady
Du skal være logget ind, før du kan kommentere og vurdere!
* Puts forth his knee and takes a bow *
Noter:
Bedlem/bedlam - Hentyder til Bethlem Royal Hospital hvor man kunne se sindslidende som i et cirkus eller Freak Show, nu også noget der på engelsk har betydningen af "et sted med en vanvittig larm"
Doolally - Hentyder til Deolali Transit Camp hvor soldater oftest var ved at blive skøre af kedsomhed - anakronisme men jeg elsker ordet.