 |  | Outrunning |
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'Maybe I can outrun it.' I thought as I started running feeling my heart speed up as my breathing grew laboured and my body quickly grew tired not used to moving at such a speed for such a long time. My heart is beating abnormally in my chest pounding like the hoofs of a thousand wild horses running over the steppes at a sickening speed crushing anything that gets in their way much like it feels like my heart might break my ribs it is beating so hard. 'Why do I even care?' I asked my mind exhausted as I blinked quickly trying to get the sweat out of my eyes as I stumbled almost falling as everything was getting too blurry for me to see anything, 'Because you like her.' my mind answered and not for one second did I wonder that the fact that my mind answered me was not normal I simply just answered it as well continuing the conversation that no sane person would ever have started. 'No.' I told myself as I pushed my body to go faster trying to outrun these thoughts these feelings. I could feel my chest and my throat start to hurt as I sped up inhaling and exhaling faster than I was even moving. My head was pounding the thought of her the possibility of liking her driving me to go even faster. 'I'm not like that.' I denied my heart thumping violently in my chest speeding up thought it felt like it could burst every second now. The blood rushing to my head as I could hear my pulse beating loudly quickly in my ears. White spots dancing in front of my eyes as I felt the bile start to rise in my throat. 'You're attracted to her.' my mind argued trying to convince me of something I knew was true but didn't want to accept. I knew the truth of course I did something like that is hard not to notice accepting it though is a whole other thing. 'I'm not.' I denied again feeling a sharp pain shot up from my legs and move throughout my whole body my muscles hurting and cramping from running so fast. From running for so long. Just trying to outrun it all though I knew I wouldn't be able to. 'Just accept it.' my mind told me though I knew I couldn't. I would never be able to accept it. Not because I didn't want to but just because I wouldn't be able to. There are some things that people just can't accept. This is one of those things for me. "I'm not -I'm not g-gay." I stuttered out of breath as I felt my chest heave up and down at an impossible speed. I ignored it all and just continued running pumping my legs even faster sweat covering my whole body making my clothes stick to my skin. There are some things you can outrun and then there are some things you just can't. | ||||||||||||||
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