Sounds ripping through my throat.
Tears flooding my eyes.
You were right there. Suddenly you’re not.
I remember you calling, whispering for help.
Yet I forgot.
I didn’t hear.
I failed, and now you’re not here anymore.
I remember your laugh, you’re voice. You’re smile. Most of all I remember you’re eyes.
Memories which I know will spill from my hands, like time.
Such beautiful eyes. Blinding me from the obvious pain I didn’t see.
I forgot to tell you. How handsome, kind and how utterly beautiful you were. I forgot to tell you it was okay not to be like everyone else. To tell you how utterly brilliant you were, and that you were more than your faults. But I forgot. And now you’re not here anymore.
It’s too late.
I didn’t think time would pass by so quickly. I thought we had all the time in the world. I thought I had plenty of time to tell you.
Now it’s too late. And all I have left is everything left unsaid. A hole in my heart empty, yet filled with all the things I wanted to tell you. Words which will now forever be unsaid.
Why didn’t I tell you when I could?
Why didn’t I see you, hear you?
Why was I so blind?
Even if it wouldn’t change anything, at least you wouldn’t be alone. You died alone, and I wish I could have been there with you, for you. Just to hold you’re hand. Tell you how brave, and loved you were. If only to wipe away your tears.
But thats too late now.
You died alone. Scared. Crying. And now its too late.
I wish I could tell you it’s okay. That there is nothing to apologize for. Nothing at all.
But you will never know now, how proud we all are of you. Of your bravery, your strength, your kindness and of how well you took care of us.
The world lost a piece of its beauty that day. As your final breath left your throat, a piece of the world broke off. And it will never be the same again.
We loved you so much, still do, and I hope some part of you remembered that.
I want you to know that we are going to be okay. Our lives a bit duller without you, but still living.
If only I could have said goodbye. But the world does not work like that.
And I guess in the end it’s true, everybody dies alone.
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